I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
her facebook's as public as her vagina
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
Randomize
