I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
Randomize
