We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
I need a hoe opinion
go on
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
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