windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
Randomize
