He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
I found an industrial strength sharpie in the drawer so I started writing BONER JAM 2014 on everyone's foreheads so they kicked me out
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
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