soooo we both peed the bed last night...
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
Randomize
