i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
I'm drunk filing my taxes in a bar on a Monday afternoon in a Regular Show onesie. I think I'm starting to get the hang of this whole adult thing.
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
Randomize
