That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
Randomize
