After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me