we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
being pregnant is like rehab
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize
