How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize