I made out with a fat chick last night in a hot tub... btw I am breaking up with you
my phone is set on vibrate and its tucked up in my left front pocket. call me back 20 times real quick.
I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
Randomize
