oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
Being sober is boring. Tomorrow I'm def bringing wine and my vibrator to work. Might even booty call that hot guy on floor 5. Making the last week at this job legendary.
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
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