omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
Randomize
