I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
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