end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
I'm in too deep with Breaking Bad. I realized I've altered my Tinder likes to people that either look like Jesse or work in a school's Science department.
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
These tits shall not be calmed
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
Randomize
