Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
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If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
The homeless guy out front said it's his birthday and he asked us to join him for happy hour after work. He's buying a fifth of gin to celebrate.
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I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
Boobs are out for the taking
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..