Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
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