Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
In retrospect, pretending to punch a 9 year old girl in the face was a terrible analogy to use in a piano lesson.
He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
Just saw an old man buy two cases of keystone light, a case of milwaukee's best and a case of icehouse. Degenerate alcoholic of senior citizen of the year?
I'm so glad i pay social security
I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
I met my future husband in an elevator. Think Hispanic version of Dr. Bunsen Honeydew from the Muppets, but with eyes like Michael Fassbender.
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
Randomize
