He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
Randomize
