those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
You should frame my arrest warrant.
Randomize
