wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
It was confusing and full of hummus
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
Randomize
