Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
sorry there isn't a 'perfect ass' emoji
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
Randomize
