Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
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