puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
Randomize
