Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
i wish my penis had a tongue
call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
They can be so fun, drunk bruises are like clues to the treasure of what actually happened last night. "why do I have a bruise on my belly button? oh right. i was trying to turn my stomach off so I would stop throwing up."
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
Randomize
