if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
Randomize
