Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
Please, let me fuck your mom
I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
I walked into the bathroom and there's this 6'5" cop washing his hands. He looks at me and goes, "Heard you singing outside. Sound real pretty."
No more tequila EVER.
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
Randomize