please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize
