yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
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I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
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Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
Maybe he injected his testicle?
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
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