I'm going to jail i love you
I just farted at work and tried to cover up the noise by shuffling papers around
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
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