I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
Randomize
