If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
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