His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
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