the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
Randomize
