just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
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