My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
Tornado booty call.. dedication
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize
