the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
Randomize
