Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
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