Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
Randomize
