You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
Bang-toberfest begins!!
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
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