I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
Ugh. I'm going to die alone, sister. Half-eaten by one of my thirty-seven cats and clutching a martini shaker
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
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