I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
THAT BEAUTIFUL FACE AND HEAVENLY LIGHTING IS NOT HELPING THE NOT DEAD POINT HOW DO I NOT KNOW YOU ARE NOT TEXTING ME FROM THE AFTERLIFE
The after life smells like latex gloves and hand soap
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