Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
I went to the obgyn with chipped nail polish.. Somewhere Beyonce was looking down, shaking her head, whispering "Not fierce."
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
Holy shit dude........stairs
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
Randomize
