just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
Randomize
