oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
You were ¾ of the way through the first pitcher of margaritas then you turned to me and said "Wow I can barely taste the vodka!" And then…….
...Then...
Then I told you margaritas are made with tequila not vodka. You whipped the pitcher at the wall and ordered another one
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
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