Well apparently he's into motor boating.
im drinking this country out of the recession.
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
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