oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
she peed on how many people?
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
Randomize
