In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
Randomize