bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
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