Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
Dude, I totally just made my launch phrase on my new phone "Wingardium Leviosa" so that when people try it and it doesn't work I can say, "It's leveeOHsa, not leveeoh-SA."
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
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