the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
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