But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
Randomize
