I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
Randomize
