Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
You were pouring Patron into the window of the squad car trying to get the police dog to drink it
So thats why that cop beat my ass?
Probably
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
Randomize
