You kept calling me your small dog last night.
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
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I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
You left your underwear on the fireplace
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
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i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
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